New Chapter

Alex and I now live together in Ponte Vedra Beach with our little french bulldog Tank. I did a year at Flagler college and now I am transferring, remember how i hate doctors? well i think i want to be one. weird right? well anyways everything is great, my dad is engaged again, my stepmom has a new boyfriend (he is great) and my mom and I are best friends! Lindsey and I started talking again, but now she moved for work and I don't know when she will be back. i miss her. I got a new job and its pretty cool. I like being back in Jax, all the familiar faces(:

wow

i just went back and read all of my old posts, it has been a while.
the boy i walked around new york with in my second to last post i am now madly in love with and i dont see that changing anytime soon. so yes love is real believe it or not. my parents are just shitty at keeping it around.
my life is not perfect by any stretch but i like it as of right now, my parents are still fighting all the time and my step mom got back with her ex husband she had before my dad, turns out he is a drug addict and he tried to strangle my stepmom to death so now she has a restraining order against him. wow right? i didnt think things could really get any worse but i was proven wrong.
so yes i have gotten my shit together i am not a constant wreck anymore and i am loving life. i am almost finished with highschool online!! and will be applying to colleges soon. and i cant wait to move out and live on my own. i have two jobs one at a daycare for children with medical needs and one at Urban Outfitters. i love them both but i seem to be getting sick more lately i dont know if this is because of working with sick children all the time or if it is because of just flat out working all the time, either way i dont care because i love what i do and i wouldnt change it for the world.
i have gotten two tattoos at this point one on my side and one on my arm. i love them both and hopefully soon i will be going to nashville with my boyfriend to get tatooed by his tattoo artist,nothing but just a little ladybug somewhere. anyways im addicted to getting tattooed its official, and I have met some cool people by doing it.
i still do not talk to lindsey, she has her own life now and i have mine and i love it! i hope she is happy because i know i am. she tried to say that i was spreading rumors about her but really i havent talked about her for months i have no reason to. i dont hate her i just realize we are no longer friends and that is just the way it is.
so i am good, my life for the most part is good and i wouldnt change a thing.

-morgen

good bye...

i have nothing left in my life, i have a broken family, lost my bestfriend because she got a car and is hanging out with people that disrespected me to the farthest extent, and doesnt even pick my side when others talk to her about it. i guess that means she is not the friend i thought she was. Not once has she tried to talk to me about it or said sorry for obviously cutting me out of her life. but yet she expects me to treat her like nothing ever happend, which is not the way it works. you dont just act a certain way and hurt someone and expect it all to be normal.

never thought this would happen in a million years, thought we were going to be at each others weddings, and our kids were going to be best friends. but i guess all of that is gone now, because she doesnt feel like swallowing her pride and saying she is sorry.

remember that day i came up to you crying because i watched a movie that the boys best friend died, and it made me think of you dieing? well this is worse, because i know you are there and that we could make this work but you wont even try. and i have cried way more about this than i did that day, but crying doesnt change a thing, and you wont talk about it so i guess it will never change.

i will miss you and all the fun that we had together, but i guess you have made new friends, i hope they arent just using you for money or food, because those are not real friends, those will never be what i was to you.

NEW jersey

i left for new jersey on the morning of the 14th,july.

after the trip to pick up kristin i came home and my dad kristin and i loaded in my dads car(kristin was so excited to ride in it) and we headed off to the airport, arriving at the airport about 30 minutes later i jetted out of the car, scooped up my bags,gave i quick kiss goodbye, ready to be on my own.

everything went pretty smoothly, at first, we got our boarding passes and headed for the hell of security, kristin decided she needed to eat something and took forever to eat it. needless to say the security took too long, she took too long eating, and we ended up running to our plane. (her running in heels was the highlight of the day).

so off we go, to the city of dreams. well sort of.

3 hours later we get off the plane and head for baggage claim, got our bags and waited for my cousin to pick us up, kristin and i got into an argument, the first of many on this trip. i guess when you are brought up the way i was, with love and compassion and class mixed with struggle, you dont really get along too well with those who were not taught to be classy and understanding, and who have always gotten whatever they wanted, yet rebelled despite the fact.

so my cousin picked us up from the airport and we were off, we went to the mall first, the most gorgeous mall i have ever seen, with prada,dolce and gabbana, juicy, french connection, tiffanys, gucci, betsy johnson, and burberry stores. not to mention hollister which i could not resist but to play a mygetaway song in a new jersey mall, wierdest thing ever.

later we got to my aunts house and there were many hugs and kisses, and then relaxing. soon enough i got a text from alex saying to come into the city, promptly i fed my mom(step) the idea and she loved it, she thought it so cute that i was going to meet a boy in the city. whatever its just alex, so anyways we hopped on the train and about half way there i texted alex, with no response, i got a little anxious so i called, went straight to voice mail, got a little scared, waited a few minutes got a call "oldman alex" my phone read. the relief was enormous, pick up the phone to exactly what i wanted to hear,"HI BABY MORGEN, sorry i was in the subway and had no service." perfection! got off the train walked up the stairs into my first taste of the city, FREAKING INSANITY, then i see the one familiar face out of the millions of alien ones, my baby alex, i wanted to kiss him right then, but.... oh well life goes on.

ok so anyways we start walking looking at everything talking about everything it was the most amazing thing i have ever done. about 20 minutes into us walking kristin says she is tired and wants starbucks, first off i told her to sleep the night before we left because i wasn't going to just sit around the day we got there so she could sleep, but no she stayed up all night and so i had to deal with her being tired. oh well, she got starbucks and said she wouldn't bitch for the rest of the night. so we meet up with john McGrisgin and his friend jess and walked around and saw:

-mtv studios

-fuse studios

-empire state building

-rockafeller center (spelling?)

-madison square gardens

-central park

-times square

it was amazing, alex started drinking about 2 hours into us being there, just the way he is, he got a beer at dinner, and it all went down hill from there. dont get me wrong its not like he gets loud or obnoxious when he drinks, its just i wish he could have stayed sober for one night for me. oh well we had fun non the less. we had a little trouble finding our train back but we found it and made our way home.

we hung out for the next couple days,went to the show, it was cool except that kristin was texted god knows who on her phone the whole time and i had no one to talk to. highlight of the trip was getting my nose pierced with my mom,it was great. we went back into the city to go shopping the day before we left for home, and had dinner at a thai restaurant called sticky rice. it was amazing, Kristin got a text from ernie at dinner saying he was in new jersey, and she told him to come into the city and we could all hang out, he was going to see the batman premier or something so we didnt get to.

anyways we had our plane ride home and got picked up by lindsey, god i missed her more than a fish misses water. so we drove home dropped kristin off, drama the second she got home, she should just settle the fuck down.(haven't talked to her since) and headed home, gave lindsey her shirt i bought her in new york, she loved it, went up stairs made some food and my phone died. i enjoyed the quite of my phone not going off, but when i tried to turn it back on and it wouldnt charge, i kinda freaked, i mean both of my parents were gone( new jersey and the bahamas) and i had no phone to call them from. so i hopped in my car a rode up to circuit city where lindsey was working to ask if i could borrow 100 dollars to buy a new i phone. half way there i plugged my phone into my car charger and it turned right on. stupid thing, well anyways i still went up to circuit city, it was good to see everyone. i sat on the floor and watched bridge to terebithia and i cried a little. then i went to talk to lindsey and she was like what is wrong, and i told her i started crying from the movie cause the little kids best friend died, and it made me think what it would be like if she died, and we both started crying right there in the middle of the imagining section. that is love, not the type of love that i have been trying to find, to prove it is real, but love none the less.

i wish i would have written some of this while i was in new jersey that way this wouldn't be so long but oh well, no one reads them anyway. now i am going to the doctor because i have something growing on my arm ahahha its not as gross as it sounds but anyways i hate doctors so this should be fun.

-morgen